pit of despair

i was recently pondering my propensity for purchasing purses.* when my pal ponitifcated that phsycologically, purses symbolize the pussy.

WHAT?

the hangbag is the female freudian equivalent to the cigar you say?

hmmm.... it kind of makes sense... it's a pouch and you put stuff in it... ok assuming this is true there a few INCREDIBLY disturbing facts that spring to mind:

1. i call mine the pit of despair because i can never FIND anything in it**

2. i collect VINTAGE HANDBAGS***

3. have you ever noticed how many women walk around with thier hands resting IN THE HANDBAGS? or even, worse, CONSTANTLY RUMMAGING through it?****



this saddens me deeply. my innocent collecting of funky old bags now has a sinister overtone. one that i fear, shall haunt me all of my days. before i close this dialouge forever there i do have a fourth and final point:


4. i also have a thing for CHEAP synthetic bags made in taiwan*****














*aloud. pondering purchasing purses aloud.

**yes, this is an homage to the classic film "labyrinth"- the pit of despair is known for it's (oh my jesus, my jesus) overpowering stench

***old pussy? what? i've been collecting since i was a teenager so i'm not really sure what this means. i also have a thing for BIG BAGS. big old vag-gee-gees? oh dear lord!

****do i have to paint you a picture? go read "my secret garden" if you need more specific refernces. jesus people! get with it!

*****begins crying, silently into hands- stops- reaches into bag for kleenex- cannot find any!- continues to rummage through because it is somehow soothing- and yet- stimluating!- where is it? must look- faster- over there- no- yes- deeper- harder- ahhh! never did find the kleenex but am now so relaxed- time for a - yawn- desk... nap....