coochie-coochie-die!

this is my initial reaction to seeing a wee one:

awww! how cute- a baby!*



this is my second:

why is that thing looking at me like that? maybe it can see into my soul?**



this is my third:

in twenty years, this little monster could grow up to take my job or steal my husband or otherwise fuck up my shit. maybe i should kill it.***









*depending on my hormone levels, i sometimes want to make one of my very own. or kill it. kill the baby.

**it's ok when the baby smiles- it likes me! but when a baby just stares at me and takes everything in without smiling- jesus christ it gives me the heebie jeebies! STEAL SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL DEMON BABY!!

***it would be so easy! those little squishy things can't fight back! two secs and i'm out. fucking baby.