vroom vroom!

open letter to all males, and other persons* who have ever questioned a womans' desire for new shoes:



shoes = cars



that's right, shoes r cars for our feet. if you live, as i do, in a place such as new york, and really, why live anywhere else, then you most likely do much travel on foot.


mode of transport = feet = similar to a car = or a bike = or rollerblades (which brings us back to) = shoes




there are other similarites too:

1. safety concerns- do these shoes come with front and side airbags?**

2. price- can i afford the monthly payments on these shoes?***

3. can i fuck in these shoes?****




and they fit into the same classifications:

1. motorcycles = strappy high heeled sandals******

2. jeeps = cowboy boots

3. stretch hummers******* = manolo blahniks or prads*********







*usually male persons, or no nonsense, comfort shoe wearing mamas

**if they r high enough then they just might need them

***the answer is always yes, even when it is no

****obvs not in the backseat but totes with them still on yore feet!*****

*****the above statement rhymes. say it aloud. say it again. say it superfastandinpublicandseewhathaps!

*******airy and dangerous for everyone involved

********haha- that sound diiiirrrrrrtyyyyy! YAY!

*********totes