whore's paint

last night was girl's night:


1. we saw a show
2. drank wine
3. went to a sex shop*
4. stumbled drunkenly into sephora**



this is how that particular situation plays out:


annonymous friend: so where should we go for another drink?

tina: it's almost 11:30- i really think i should just go ho- SEPHORA!

annonymous friend: OMYGODGOODIDEA! (grabs my hand and drags me into traffic twoard the glorious glowing beacon of beauty products)

tina: WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

annonymous friend: bitch, if you don't put on some blue eyeshadow i'm gonna punch you in the face!

tina: i'm on it! (begins feverishly applying blue-green eyemaeup with disposable applicators)


30 minutes later....



annonymous friend: do you like the glitter?

tina: ohmygod- i need some too! (applies glitter with breathless abandon)

annonymous friend: you are so tan!

tina: thanks- i used four diffy bronzers (poses as if actually tan)

annonymous friend: do you like the red?

tina: so audry hep- wow! we look like whores!

annonymous friend: hot fucking slut whores!

tina: totes

annonymous friend: so where should we go for a drink?

tina: we can't go to a bar. this is time's square and WE LOOK LIKE WHORES

annonymous friend: oh (looks sad)

tina: (hugs friend) let's go home and wash this crap off. we can be secret subway whores for a halfsy****.

annonymous friend: ROCK!














*screw you perverts- we just wanted new vibrators!

**upscale cosmetics SUPERSTORE! it's delightful and ridiuclous and overwhelming and very dangerous for someone tipsy, vain and on a budget***

***who me? *eyelash flutter giggle wink*

****the half hour it takes to ride the subway. learn to abbreviate and add cute little suffoxes to your words people!!! GOSH (goshsies)