lap dance

yesterday i was invited to a bachelor party

i experienced the following emotions:

1. pride. i was a to be the only GIRL invited!*
2. envy. would i become morose and insecure thereby causing me to rip off some underage breastesses?**
3. lust. they promised me lap dances. lots and lots of lap dances.
4. avarice. they promised to pay for the baseball game and the lap dances. lots and lots of lap dances.
5. guilt. my boyfriend was not terribly psyched about my mission.

after this emotional tumult i finally answered yes to the invitation. i was dying to get behind enemy lines and see what the naughty boys really did without their ladies in attendance. plus, i am a strip club virgin.*** however within 24 hours of this the following shit hit the fllowing fans:

1. the soon-to-wife of the aforementioned bachelor shreiked "what?!?"
2. the girlfriend of another attendee grabbed him by the balls and shrieked "what does she get to go if i dont get to go. ME GO"
3. the wife of another attendee stated in a calm but firm voice "i dont want any drunk girls in that limo."

the proverbial foot was put proverbally down. thus the invitation was revoked and mama goes without experiencing the forbidden lap dance.



*i am THAT COOL
**i too have a nice pair
***yes wise ass, i am still SOME sort of virgin****


****a few kinds actually- look at me- i'm SO INNOCENT! *****




*****please sexy pirate- don't deflower me! i'm just an innocent maiden! WINK