go west

i am preparing to embark on a voyage westardly, toward the sun.

there i hope to ward off seasonal depression and spend some quality time with ma mere. i also hope not to freak on the plane.

here are some easy steps anyone can take to make travel more enjoyable:

Before embarking on your journey (spiritual and otherwise):

1. find someone to take care of any small furry creatures that may be sharing living space with you. otherwise you will worry about them and they will yowl pathetically. try to make sure the person you hire is:

• not a snoop
• not a pervert who will sniff your panties (not much fun unless you are still wearing them)
• not too expensive

2. over water all of your plants. this way the small fuzzy things can amuse themselves by swatting at fruit flies during your absence.

3. pack inapproprately. i am not sure if this is actually recommended but it is an established part of my travel routine. also, it takes all the guilt out of shopping while on vacation: but i only brought woolens with me to puerto rico- i simply MUST have a swim suit and saraong!

4. stockpile betty and veronica comicbooks and valium (more on this later).