i am in a huff - unsolicited advice from the huffiest

Sunday, June 25, 2006

plenis

when your plenis is erect is it tense or relaxed?









do do do do do doooooo
do do do do do
dododododododo
do do do do do doooooo
do
do do do do do doooooo





alex trib: may i have your answer please?





you (dumbass): tense?





alex trib: EH! i'm sorry that is INCORRECT! when your plenis is erect it is actually RELAXED





for realz. this means that you are walking around with a super tense plenis that just cant WAIT to CHILL THE FUCK OUT.




splains a lot about men doesnt it?

Monday, June 05, 2006

trapper keeper

the continuing adventures of CON GIRL




yes, it's truh- this weekend i was a BOOTH BABE at a COMIC CON in the city of brotherly luh. beyond the mind numbing exhaustion of standing in high heelsies for three dayz i had a few interesting encounters and observations:





encounters:

1. a young man (NERD) ran frantically up to our booth. instead of asking for our photos (natch) or a free t-shirt (chill the fuck out) he asked very politely "excuse me, do you have a folder?" to which i replied "a what?" to which he replied "a folder" to which i replied "no, i'm sorry we do not have a folder". at this point he departed and i replied again to empty space "but i do have a trapper keeper!" NERD

2. people who like comic books also like to take pictures of me. after three days of this i have learned something new: I'M FUCKING HOT. HOT AS BALLZ. TODES*

3. most people will eat their own young for a free t-shirt. FOR REALZ. i saw a woman shove her child 4 feet to get a teesh. and several large male NERDS elbowing, knocking over and generally abusing youngins to get at the free swag. SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN. NERDS









observations:


1. not everyone at the con was a nerd**

2. GEEKS were also present. GEEKS are not as SMART as NERDS

3. i also met a few SPAZ's. a SPAZ has very few redeeming qualities, unlike NERDS who are smart and freaky in the SAC YO'*** or GEEKS who r endearingly eager to discus role playing games*****










*whatevs. but seriously, my ego is OUT OF CONTROL. i just got back from the bathroom where i spent a FULL HALVSIE kissing my reflectionne. i rule.

**the people working were about 50% NERD. there were also some dope artists there. 25% NERD. and me 0% NERD

***i only know this from the film "revenge of the NERDS" in which a well plowed cheerleader asks "are all the NERDS as good as you?" todes.****

****i know not from personal experience. i do not dabble in NERD. i prefer a nice ZORK.

*****nope, not the fun kind of role playing game. like doom or dungeons and dragons. PERV


Hit Counter